Asperger's Law - You Can Only Eat Nuggets and Fries at McDonalds

I like order and routine.  Who doesn't?  I like to plan things out ahead of time.  I make lists and even have a planner.  Sometimes, I even have planner for my planner (think about this).  When I go out I like to eat my favorite menu choices at my favorite restaurants (nothing fancy here...I'm referring to a number 1 at the McDonalds drive thru).  I guess you can say I am extremely organized, routine oriented and predictable.  This is NOTHING compared to my 3 year old daughter.

One component of Asperger's is the STRICT routine following and predictability.  Now, lots of toddlers are like this but Aspies make EVERYTHING a routine and predictable.  It's also the way an Aspie reacts to a change or deviation from the routine that sets them apart (stress, anxiety = tantrum).

The way it works with Zoe.  The first time you go somewhere, it goes pretty well.  She takes it all in and processes all the new information.  The SECOND time you go to that place, she expects it to be the same exact way.  If anything is different she tells me.  And I mean ANYTHING.  Today at dance she wanted them to shut off the ceiling fan because the last time she was there the fan was off (I would have never noticed that.)  She gets extremely stressed and agitated and has a hard time participating if there is a difference.  Once they shut it off, she was fine. 

We go to the zoo every week.  Once we get there she goes in the same door, exits the same door, eats the same snack at the same bench, sees the animals in the same order, eats lunch at the same table and says good-bye to all the animals in the same exact order.  I never have to worry about her getting lost because I know her routine and know exactly where she would be.  My job is to try and switch it up and try I do.  It took about a month, but a few weeks ago, we finally went in a different door.  :)

She immediately notices a slight change in anything.  She has a photographic memory and questions any change in the picture she took in her head.  Therefore, she has to be prepared for everything beforehand.   I give Zoe her itinerary every afternoon for the following day and I repeat it several times before she goes to sleep.  I just made her tomorrow predictable and comfortable.   Sometimes I feel like Jay Z's assistant except I don't get paid or get to hang out at the 40/40 club with Beyonce.

A few weeks ago, we went to Applebees for dinner.  She did great.  She ate the food and dessert.  It was new to her so she took it all in.  Last week, we went there for lunch.  Uh Oh!  The problem started as soon as we sat down at a different table than the first time.  She became very stressed.  I asked her what she wanted for lunch?  Oops!!! "You don't eat lunch at Applebees, only dinner."  Now of course I explain to her that she can eat lunch and dinner there.  But it's too late.  She was not going to eat "dinner foods" for lunch.  We left.

We were at a party over the weekend.  Usually I pack food for her because she usually wont eat something that is not predictable.   I made the mistake of thinking she would be fine.  They had nuggets and french fries.  "You only eat those at McDonalds."  So of course I told her they were from McDonalds, but I knew it was a lost cause.

I often wonder what will happen when she is older and her boyfriend wants to propose.  For his sake, I hope he tells her the day before ;)

Asperger's and a 3 Year Old - Haircuts and Therapy Galore

As I write, Celebrity Rehab is on.  I guess it could be worse.  Amy Fisher looks good though.  

Okay anyway, today was stressful.  Why?  Zoe was about to get her first haircut.  I guess most parents view the monthly trip to the mall for a toddler haircut as burdensome.  NOT ME!  I've been waiting for this for 3 years.  I could not take Zoe to the mall though.  She has sensory integration difficulties.  For her, she gets uncomfortable in large spaces and high places (no slides or swings for her).   She is off balance and does not like her head touched or tilted.  So I figured it would be best to have someone come to the house.   But you never know.  Of course she was perfect and everything went smoothly.  I finally got a lock of hair to put away for safe keeping :)

She is in Occupational Therapy for the sensory difficulties.  She gets to play in a huge playroom.  This place is "da bomb."  Ball pits, monkey bars, tunnels, swings, pillow castles, sand boxes, rocking horses and dance music.  I get jealous sometimes.  I want to go in the ball pit.  Oh well.  Last week she went on the swing.  She was petrified, but she did it!  :)

Today was a good day, until I went and picked up her physical therapy evaluation.  Reading three pages worth of concerns and low scores remind me of when I was a teacher scoring the English Regents.  Not fun at all.  So now she will start physical therapy to help her get around better in this world.  The evaluator told me, "She will never play sports but she will be smart."  Excuse fucking me.  Last week she did 2 somersaults in dance and the "normal" girls were too scared.  Kiss my ass!  

On my way back, we passed a playground.  I looked at it and watched the kids play.  Then I realized how dangerous it looked.  I smiled, at least I don't have to stress and worry about that!